I look at my pre-teen son and I think to myself that I am going to do everything I possibly can to ensure that he does not have to go through the same sufferings that I have endured in my life, I don’t want him to make the same mistakes that I did. In some way I feel like if he doesn’t make MY mistakes then he won’t make any at all.
As parents we want the best for our children and all we can do is the best job we know how to do, for some of us it is judged as good and for others it is judged as bad. But as I sat there thinking about how I didn’t want my son to grow up making the mistakes that I had made I realised that I had not made any mistakes at all.
I had made choices that lead to outcomes.
Those outcomes were either what I wanted or what I didn’t want in my life. So instead I understood that my son has to learn how to make choices and then learn how to deal with whatever outcome comes his way because of them.
My past reaction to unwanted outcomes from my choices was to get angry and to give up on myself.
The decision and the way that I reacted to my outcomes has made me the person who I am today and I can honestly say that I am proud of that person. I have grown so much. I learned a lot from those moments that some people may call mistakes, but I can see how they have shaped me into this strong person that I am today. I am who I am because of them, who would I be without them?
So, who am I to stop my son from making his own (mistakes) that he will grow and shape himself with. Instead I will teach him how to react to the outcomes from his decisions and I will teach him to own every choice he makes.
Owning your life and where you are in life instead of blaming others for it is a skill that everyone should adopt (master).
I don’t want to bail my son out from his choices or bandage him so he won’t experience learning from them. I want him to evolve and grow and learn how to make choices that make him proud of being who he is.
The truth is, if you don’t like an outcome, instead of getting angry try something else until the outcome turns into a positive one in your life. It’s your life and you get to choose to blame (get stuck) or whether to just try a new direction (move on).
The ball is in your court.
Merry Christmas!!!!! Christmas is about love and nothing else, have yourself a very Merry Christmas.